By Ally Hayward
Have you ever been promised something that never happened? What about being promised that something more than once? How do you keep believing in those promises, or do you? I have been promised many blessings that I haven’t seen… yet. I am desperately clinging to the yet. But it can be so difficult.
I was diagnosed with with anxiety and depression over 8 years ago now, and it happened to be while I was serving a mission for the church. I received many Priesthood blessings while serving. I was told things in those blessings that didn’t happen, like that I would be able to finish my mission, but I came home after serving for 11 months. I have been told things since then that haven’t happened, which most recently was that I would be healed how I desired in regard to the heart palpitations I have been having due to my anxiety. I still get them daily and that promise was given months ago.
I try not to question or doubt, but if these blessings aren’t occurring then I must be doing something wrong. Right? Do I not have enough faith? Am I not living righteously enough? Am I not worthy of these blessings? If now isn’t the time for them to come to fruition, then why were they promised?
I have come to believe that one of the purposes of this life is constantly learning that we need to trust God. If He gave us everything he promised right away, then where would the learning and growing happen? Trusting in God and His timeline is hard, but I truly believe that it’s better than the alternative. And it does give me hope to know that at some point in time I will be given all that was promised.
1 Nephi 9:6 reads, “But the Lord knoweth all things from the beginning; wherefore, he prepareth a way to accomplish all his works among the children of men; for behold, he hath all power unto the fulfilling of all his words. And thus it is. Amen.” God knows all. He knows the blessings He has promised, and He knows when those blessings will be received, but we don’t. And sometimes I wish I could have a break from being tested but I think that He wants us to rely on Him, now more than ever.
And maybe the blessings we have been promised come to pass in a different way than we expect them to. The story about Joseph Smith imprisoned in liberty jail was mentioned several times in the last general conference. We have been blessed by the passage of scripture that Joseph wrote while suffering there. I know I have asked how long must I suffer when waiting for promised blessings, and the answer that Joseph received applies to us all: “My son, peace be unto thy soul; thine adversity and thine afflictions shall be but a small moment; and then if thou endure it well, God shall exalt thee on high; thou shalt triumph over all thy foes.”